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I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.

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Strength Matters [Oct. 10th, 2011|07:27 pm]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Shrewsbury]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |Don't Fear The Reaper - HIM]

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I'm angry, muscular, and unavailable. [Aug. 19th, 2010|12:47 pm]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Popham Beach]
[mood |angryangry]
[music |Love Hurts - Nazareth]

I'm a repulsive freak. I barely look human. With my 'roided-out, overly-buffed physique, I'm basically a walking, talking action figure that really should be kept in a box somewhere. It's probably no surprise that my disciplined lifestyle of working-out and looking at myself in the mirror hasn't left me time for much else, like reading or having conversations. In this way I'm a little limited. Movies, books, world news, travel, music...all this stuff is simply a distraction to be avoided at all costs. I mean, how can I count my protein supplements if I have to pay attention to what's going on in the world? Besides, there's a lot more to life than other people and their interests and opinions. I like to focus on the important stuff, like my muscle magazines and whether my pecs are bigger today than yesterday. Let's face it, looking like me didn't just happen.

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Sounds of Silence [Apr. 7th, 2010|12:47 pm]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |The Sound Of Silence -Simon & Garfunkel]

Thursday, 01 April 2010: I stumbled into Freeport’s Corsican Restaurant at 1800L (6PM) quite hungry after sleeping all day. Being out-of-sync is only one of the benefits of third shift. Just that morning I’d run the Jolly Roger up the flag pole at work. My insubordination is only one of the benefits of working on a military base.

The big news was President Obama’s speech in Portland, Maine.

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Hoist the Colours [Apr. 1st, 2010|12:59 am]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |determineddetermined]
[music |The Pretender - Jackson Browne]

I just ran ye Jolly Roger up the flag pole onboard Brunswick Naval Air Station. Last night’s storm has passed. Low scud clouds raced past in the gloom overhead, pushed by a salty breeze scented by sea.

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By the Light [Mar. 31st, 2010|02:59 am]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |soresore]
[music |The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel]

I’m alone in a decommissioned Navy building on a non-operational base scheduled to close soon. I’m nursing obsolete satellite tracking gear through a rainy night, standing the 2300-0700 watch. It’s quiet but for the rain drumming.

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Drama [Mar. 9th, 2010|02:59 am]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |predatorypredatory]
[music |Into the Fire - Thirteen Senses]

Facebook drama.

Erika is a friend. She’s a 22 years old single mother and waitress working her way through nursing school. Her son, Ethan, is two. I’m one of Erika’s many friends who’ve encourage her to quit smoking recently.

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Dick Cheney is a Liberal [Mar. 1st, 2010|08:59 pm]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Half A World Away - REM]

Wednesday, 24 February 2010: I had a routine doctor’s appointment. I flirted outrageously with Brandi, my doctor’s adorable little nurse. I’ve limbs that weigh more than her. I was quiet while she placed a small black device on my finger tip to measure my pulse rate – 77 beats per minute. She asked me to remove my sweatshirt as she turned to fetch her blood pressure cuff. She didn’t realize how big my arms were until she turned back around, tiny cuff in hand. "Oh my" she said, quite agog, adding "I’m going to need the leg cuff."

I flexed for her, noting "The sign on the front door read ‘No Guns’, but I take these ‘guns’ where ever I go." She exploded into giggles.

Brandi told me "A security assessment last year recommend we hang those signs." Neither of us thought the signs served a useful purpose.

My blood pressure read 104 over 70. My weight was 247 pounds. The doctor proclaimed me a fine specimen, and scheduled another appointment next August.

Physically I’m well enough. My body fat is 16%. I plan on cutting that down some more. I’ve persistent fat under my chin and across my lower abdominals. I know how to take care of that. I’m getting past my stress (exercise helps), but I don’t feel I can talk to my doctor about the rage I feel, or my self-inflicted loneliness.

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Random Thoughts [Feb. 23rd, 2010|12:47 pm]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |The Logical Song - Supertramp]

Once upon a time I was "conservative." Not in the ideological sense, of course. I work-out. I keep my hair short. I don’t smoke, use drugs, or chase women. I don't gamble. I’m not a drunk. I’ve a clean driving record, and my manager claims I’m the most dependable employee he has. I’ve committed no crimes, and I pay my bills. I served my country once, and serve it still as a contractor. I’m no pacifist. Pacifism didn’t free the slaves, or destroy the Third Reich.

I’m not a Conservative in the ideological sense however. I believe in discipline, not laissez-faire economics that encourage too much greed. I want government that’s accountable, effective, and fair, not the broken criminal organization we’ve evolved into, and certainly not a government small enough to be drowned in a bathtub. If government were small enough to be drowned in a bathtub, I know some son-of-a-bitch will do just that. Government did just fine getting the US out of the Great Depression, through the Second World War, and putting a man on the Moon. This ideas we’ve had lately; that government is a problem, that the rich are above the law, and wealthy incompetents deserve our money, are poor ideas I think.

I guess I haven’t really explained what I think of politics. I’m old-fashioned enough to consider discussions of politics, sex, and religion unseemly in most cases. For some time people I barely know have failed to resist the urge to keep their ridiculous superstitions and ideologies away from me. If I’m interested, I’ll ask. It really is that simple.

Friday, 19 February 2010: Father died six years ago today. I miss him. I set up the boxing equipment in the aerobics room at the gym after pumping iron. Jack holds an informal Friday night class in addition to our usual Saturday morning training. I wasn’t able to stay for the Friday class, but Jack was delighted to be able to train right away, instead of hanging heavy bags and positioning sparring dummies.

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Under Pressure [Feb. 9th, 2010|04:48 am]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |stressedstressed]
[music |Under Pressure - David Bowie & Queen]

My arms are afflicted with some sort of eczema outbreak across my elbows and biceps. I’m feeling more stress than I’ve admitted apparently.

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Is there any body out there? [Jan. 14th, 2010|02:28 am]
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.
[Current Location |Harpswell Cove]
[mood |angryangry]
[music |Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen]

My cousin Frankie died Saturday, 09 January 2010.

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